They don’t count because there is no one-to-one contact. It can create a real problem in your relationship at home.
Another reason is that I had stopped exercising and my energy level dropped. Neither of these are healthy choices, I later learned. My partner had never been with anyone before marriage and I tried to teach her about performing/receiving oral sex or experimenting with different positions (all things I very much enjoy) but our bodies’ chemistries never aligned.
So even when we did have sex, it rarely lasted more than a few minutes. We bought books, saw a counselor but everything was just off. But that never made sense because I have never found myself physically attracted to other males.
You could enter it innocently, not really looking for an affair.
But it’s very seductive so even a little curiosity can get you hooked.
Although my husband doesn’t have a sex drive, I do.